Friday, April 13, 2012

Marriage thoughts

For the past six months or so, I've been thinking about marriage very seriously. Christopher and I discussed marriage very early in our dating, and I wanted to be very clear with myself about what I wanted out of a marriage and what I would need to do to accomplish that.
I read many scriptures, listened to talks, observed relationships of those newly married and those married for twenty plus years. I also did a lot of thinking and pondering. I read my patriarchal blessing. I prayed.
Through this study, I was able to learn a few things.
First, I wanted to marry for love. I know that love is not the only reason to get married (my mom has reminded me of this very often), but I think that it has to be the starting place. I wanted a love that would be able to sustain me and my husband, and our future family. I do believe that "all you need is love". But, this love has to be a selfless love, and enduring love.
Second, I wanted my marriage to be a partnership. The scriptures talk a lot about this, and I receive so much comfort as I read scriptures that talk about husband and wife being "one flesh", a "help-meet" and equal in their relationship.
Third, I want an enjoyable marriage. I want to smile, and laugh every day. I want others to see that I love my husband and he loves me. I have been spoiled with great examples of marriage. My parents have been married for nearly thirty years (in September) and they still have fun together. I know that they love each other. They are best friends, and I love that. My Granny and Papa are also a really good example to me. They have been married for 58 years and are probably the cutest couple (I will relinquish the title for them). They are a team.
Fourth, I want a marriage that lasts. I know that marriage isn't always easy. But I'm pretty sure it's worth it. I want my marriage to last forever. I can't imagine it any other way.
I recently read an article in a magazine where the interviewee, Alison Brie (of "Community") was talking about her thoughts on marriage. She said that she never pictured herself getting married and then said that "our parents", meaning our generations parents got married because they "were supposed to". My immediate thought was, my parents got married because they loved each other.
I have never seen marriage as simply an answer to society's pressure. Marriage is not simply a fun thing to do. Marriage is a serious deal. And I am so excited to make that deal for good. I can't wait to have the happiness of being married to my best friend.

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